How are you all doing these last few weeks of 2021?
Or has 2021 almost taken you out and you're already looking forward to 2022?
I hope it's been better than 2020 because now, NOW comes the time that most love, but some dread..... the Holidays.
So who is the 'some' that I'm referring to? I'm speaking to my single folks, but more specifically my single ladies.
It's now that time of the year where we fellowship with family and friends to eat, laugh annnnnnd... get quizzed on :
1-why are you still single
2- when are you gonna have a baby
3-is there ANYBODY you're talking to
... and for good measure
4-WHY ARE YOU STILL SINGLE?!
Now, I know I put that question twice but truthfully we're asked that question so many times that it can seem like instead of focusing on the time to laugh and enjoy each other, the focus is solely on you, your love life and your ovaries.
But this year, THIS YEAR y'all, what you're NOT going to do is let that question force you to be the center of attention and spend your holiday sulking.
No ma'am. No sir.
Instead, we're UNAPOLOGETICALLY telling people to mind their own business, not your love life or reproductive system.
Ya got that?
And when I say unapologetically, I mean UNAPOLOGETICALLY.
You don't owe anyone an explanation of your love life or any other intimate area of your life. It's for you to understand and accept. You and YOU only.
Being single is not a bad thing. It's only a bad thing when you allow others to make you think that it is.
So what if this is the 2nd, 4th or even 5th year of being solo at the family dinner. Guess what, it doesn't make you any less of a woman (or man, for my fellas reading) and you shouldn't allow them to make you feel that way.
Being in a relationship or having a child doesn't validate who you are. YOU validate who you are.
Now I'll be real, sometimes it may sting a little flying solo during this time, but here are a few ways to avoid that sting before it can affect you.
1-remember who YOU are and what YOU want in those areas of your life
2-remind yourself of what or who you're working to become
3-do NOT covet or wish for the relationship of the next because that same relationship may be a facade on the outside and totally different than what we SEE (but that's a whole other blog, y'all)
4-start a new tradition with some of your other single friends (Hello, Friendsgiving, Sistergiving, is that yoooou?)
5-allow yourself to feel whatever you want to feel... in THAT moment, but don't remain there sulking in it.
So, my message to you as a fellow single, do NOT allow anyone, family INCLUDED to make you feel any kind of way for being single during this season.
Don't give them the power to snatch your joy because of what they feel you should be doing with regard to YOUR love life.
This year, THIS YEAR when you're asked any of the above questions, respectfully (or disrespectfully... b/c y'all know some folks won't stop until you get a lil rowdy with them) tell them: Mind their business and Happy Holidays!!
I'd love to hear your thoughts and experiences about this topic so drop me a comment.
Aaaaaand if you aren't already, make sure to follow me on social media.
Until next time, keep growing y'all.
IG: bit.ly/3oQNllY (@iamjayewalker)
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